🔗 Share this article Evening Comics Target Trump's New 'Gold Card' Immigration Program Late-night's prominent entertainers used their airtime ridiculing former President Donald Trump's just announced visa initiative, called the "Trump card," characterizing it as a clear pay-for-access scheme for the wealthy. Stephen Colbert's Sarcastic Spin Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert delivered a satirical Christmas tune directed at the commander-in-chief. "He's making a list, reviewing it twice, then giving that list to the agents at ICE," he crooned. "The President ... destroys all he handles." The focus was the controversial program which allows overseas nationals to purchase U.S. residency for a sum of $1 million dollars, or "top-tier" version for five million. A government page pledges processing "faster than ever." "A brief thought here to wealthy foreigners: prior to you pony up, what about Canada?" Colbert joked. He pointed out that the card is also designed to "squeeze cash" from businesses wishing to hire skilled workers, involving significant fees. "That's a lot of fees, though if you sign up, you also get a complimentary stay at a property of your choice – as long as it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he continued. "Unprecedented vetting the government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these individuals completely are eligible to be in America." "That is important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "First question: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?" Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Critique On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "American Dream Express Card." "This is a card that will allow affluent foreigners to live here," he stated. "For a million dollars, you get legal resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choice." "Perhaps it's time to change that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your huddled masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked. Kimmel teased the simplicity of the form, observing it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare." "Exactly, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you offer the needle a million dollars." Seth Meyers covering Affordability Concerns On another network, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's declining approval ratings during financial worries. "People gave Donald Trump a second term because they were mad about the economy," he explained. Recently, in a bid to address affordability, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a display of food items, and reacted strangely to boxes of cereal. "What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a long time." "He is so extremely weird," Meyers said. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?" Meyers concluded by criticizing conservative media arguments of Trump's financial performance. "Perhaps instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy like the one FIFA did," he remarked.
Late-night's prominent entertainers used their airtime ridiculing former President Donald Trump's just announced visa initiative, called the "Trump card," characterizing it as a clear pay-for-access scheme for the wealthy. Stephen Colbert's Sarcastic Spin Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert delivered a satirical Christmas tune directed at the commander-in-chief. "He's making a list, reviewing it twice, then giving that list to the agents at ICE," he crooned. "The President ... destroys all he handles." The focus was the controversial program which allows overseas nationals to purchase U.S. residency for a sum of $1 million dollars, or "top-tier" version for five million. A government page pledges processing "faster than ever." "A brief thought here to wealthy foreigners: prior to you pony up, what about Canada?" Colbert joked. He pointed out that the card is also designed to "squeeze cash" from businesses wishing to hire skilled workers, involving significant fees. "That's a lot of fees, though if you sign up, you also get a complimentary stay at a property of your choice – as long as it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he continued. "Unprecedented vetting the government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these individuals completely are eligible to be in America." "That is important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "First question: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?" Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Critique On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "American Dream Express Card." "This is a card that will allow affluent foreigners to live here," he stated. "For a million dollars, you get legal resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choice." "Perhaps it's time to change that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your huddled masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked. Kimmel teased the simplicity of the form, observing it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare." "Exactly, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you offer the needle a million dollars." Seth Meyers covering Affordability Concerns On another network, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's declining approval ratings during financial worries. "People gave Donald Trump a second term because they were mad about the economy," he explained. Recently, in a bid to address affordability, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a display of food items, and reacted strangely to boxes of cereal. "What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a long time." "He is so extremely weird," Meyers said. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?" Meyers concluded by criticizing conservative media arguments of Trump's financial performance. "Perhaps instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy like the one FIFA did," he remarked.